2004-06-28 - 10:37 a.m.

forgot to say i saw the one of those guys i slept with the other week

in semi i walked across the road and he was parked out the front of the david shop i was just thinking that the car looked like his but i didnt see him in the drivers seat until he beeped and waved- i was fairly embarressed but at least he was cool about it and didnt pretend to not see me which is what i would have done

oh well

still havent seen leonie for ages- she was suppossed to come to the party but didnt its her bday this week as well so hopefully i will see her this weekend not like i have any money or anything oh well....

just had a meeting - i get bored very easily

gone under two times.

I've been struck dumb by a voice that

speaks from deep

beneath the cold black water.

It's twice as clear as heaven,

and twice as loud as reason.

It's deep and rich like silt on a riverbed

and just as undisturbing.

the currents mouth below me opens up around me.

suggests and beckons all while swallowing.

It surrounds and drowns and sweeps me away.

But I'm so comfortable...Too comfortable.

shut up shut up shut up shut up

shut up shut up shut up shut up

you're saturating me

So how could I let this bring me

back to my knees again again again

under for the third time.

I've been baptized by your voice.

it screams from deep beneath the endless water.

and it's half as high as heaven

and half as clear as reason.

it's cold and and black like silt on the riverbed.

But I'm so comfortable.

Far too comfortable.

Why don't you kill me,

I'm weak and numb and insignificant,

and I'm back on my knees.

lost in euphoria.

I'm back down. I'm in the undertow.

I'm helpless and awake in the undertow.

I'll die within your undertow.

It seems there's no other way out of this undertow.

Euphoria.

i found a pic last night of my car in the add just before i bought it- it looks so different haha poor suzie

i've seen it all befores - i've known it all along